Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize