I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
