Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
