I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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