just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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