How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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