Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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