I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize