She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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