Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
