don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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