you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
