I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We need to rekindle our bromance
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
