Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
