I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
