Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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