I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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