Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
