if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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