I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
