Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
