so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
