yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
my poor anus
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
