it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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