The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
