I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
