I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
