Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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