Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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