If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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