just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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