so that wasnt chicken after all
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Randomize
