honey bunches of taint.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
