We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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