singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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