im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
