Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's rum buckets o'clock
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
