Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
