Buhtt sex?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize