dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
