My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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