I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I party with great urgency now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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