I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize