she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize