Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
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