if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize