you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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