U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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