it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize