i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
