what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize