You're completely useless in the revolution.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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