We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
