You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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