We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
