Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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