Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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