Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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