he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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