Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
