where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
