did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
