I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
