can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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