I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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