I just saw a hot homeless man
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
