Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
