STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
